My Body

Does not move like it did six years ago. Going to the gym everyday does not always mean your "in shape" My back is sore. And I think I now have a slight limp in my right leg.

This week I'm helping Cassidy with cheer tryouts for the new high school. We danced/taught our asses off yesterday! I'm 24 for heavens sake! I thought I threw the pom poms in years ago? It's funny that CHEERLEADING once defined who I was. To some it probably still does. Strange.
Weird that eight years ago I was in the same position as these girls trying out to be a High school "cheerleader". Right now, this is what is consuming their life. To them it is what will make or break their high school career. In fact they are probably practicing the dance as I type! THAT was me. And MOST of you. Years ago. Friday we will shatter some girls dreams!!!! And there will be DRAMA! D-R-A-M-A (spelt out cheerleading style). Because there always is! Good thing I'm not the coach! :)

I'm realizing how insignificant high school is in defining who you are. I'm now friends with people in high school that I never thought I would be. and I recently(3 months ago) kinda dated the biggest drama guy from high school! Yes....Sean Pullen. Did your jaws just drop? Seriously....who would have thought?

Last Friday night me and cass watched almost our entire senior year of cheer videos. I honestly had to keep asking her "is that me?" I couldn't even recognize myself! Watching it felt more like a dream...not a memory. Weird how I hardly remember high school...Why is that?
Even though high school was ages ago. I realize that almost every single person I have as a friend on my blog is someone that I once cheered with in some point of my life or is a friend of mine from high school! Amazing that through the world of blogging we are all still friends.

Out with the old. In with the new.

"He and I had something Beautiful
but so dysfunctional it couldn't last....
I'm battle scarred. I am working oh so hard. to get back to who I used to be." - A Fine Frenzy

Yes.That Best describes it.

Lunch today with the Ex went surprisingly well. Like nothing had changed.

Except for me.

It's amazing how someone can be this HUGE part of your life at one point. Like your entire world would fall apart without them. and in a matter of a few months you look at them entirely different. Strange how you can be with someone for four years and feel like you've just met them. Yet you know them probably better then they know themselves.

I wanted to tell him: the truth shall set you free!!
but he can't handle the truth. Not his own at least. Lies have become his truth.

But.....I Love him more then I ever have. Not in the way it once was. But I love him as my friend. I can appreciate him now and everything that he is. Because his crap is no longer mine. I guess it never was. It feels so good to be ME with him. to be real. I faced the past. Forgave. and I'm working on forgetting. He will always be my friend. Amazing isn't it?

EX: Your like this whole new person!
ME: You have NO idea.... :)

Facing the past makes me love Scott even more. It's good to know where you came from. So you can appreciate the NOW. I'm lucky. I'm so Lucky he is mine. :) Lucky to be in a "healthy" relationship. Okay. Healthy doesn't describe it. AMAZING....Yes. That's better. It's all better. Since HE came around. Love is good.

STUFF

Has been stolen from my car. My ipod. My phone charger. Seriously who steals stuff? Especially from ME? I'm a nice girl. Didn't they know that? If I somehow find the person I will punch them in the wiener. Or vagina. whatever. then demand my stuff back. Owell. It's just "stuff"

Scott-the boyfriend- is in Mexico for spring break this week. Yeah....automatically visions of MTV's spring break pops into my head and I'm praying he doesn't volunteer himself for some weird naked contest. Then I imagine something from girls gone wild. Maybe their filming there? Boobs. lots of boobs. But good news. I TRUST HIM. :) you all probably have no idea how good that feels unless you've walked a bit in my shoes for the past four years. Doubt any of you would even want to. totally uncomfortable miserable pair of shoes to be walking in. So I traded them in.

Alone. For the week at least. So Scott has declared it "find yourself" week for me. Kinda scary. I mean who wants to know who they really are? I guess I do. I've got my work cut out for me with books, CD's, Movies, and my mind to figure this all out in a matter of a few more days. times a ticking. But I feel better everyday.

The EX-boyfriend text me the other day. asking if I needed anything. wanting to say hi. Should I tell him I need a new ipod? cause I do. Not sure how I feel about all of that. But....we have a lunch date later this week. I am excited to see him. Not cause i miss "us". but I would love more then anything to be his friend. I think he needs one. I need to face the past. forgive him. and move on. I guess that's part of finding myself. But can't I punch him in the face? just once? or the wiener? Or would that not be considered "classy"?

I wouldn't really do it people! Jokes.

And as requested. A bigger/blow-upable picture.

Black and White

PARTAY!! This was my Saturday. This is as exciting as it gets in St.George. But Good times. And Good friends. Here are just a few of my favorite pics.

Me and cindy

Me and Rakai! :)

The Boyfriend. Isn't he Dreamy?

F-I-E-R-C-E

Christian Siriano. I LOVE him! If any of you watch project runway you may share the same feelings. He's uber Gay! Like Flamboyant probably prances in stilettos around his apartment gay! And funny as Hell. If he lived here I would demand him to be my friend. Actually.... he would probably demand to be my friend. :) We would probably play dress up and pretend we go to Posh parties on the weekend. He's FIERCE with and attitude. And I Love him. The End.

I can't

sleep. It's 1:46 in the AM and I'm sadly stalking all of your blogs in hopes you guys have a life more exciting then mine at the moment, or that you'll all bore me so much that I fall into a coma and actually get some sleep.

Hasn't happened. I read amandas blog. She makes me laugh.

I guess I can tell you ALL that I have a boyfriend............yup.....it's official.
BOYFRIEND. That word once made me want to vomit. And it's been the story of my adult life. I know. But I'm cured of "relationshits-itis" I swear it's a disease. And I did a year of "kinda" being single Don't ask what "kinda" being single entails. You don't wanna know. Trust me.

This time it's good....SO good..... Amazing.....Get it?

Please don't ask me if/when we are getting married or if he's "the one" or I will delete you as a friend on my blog.

Jokes. But not really.

So if you're expecting the stats on the new hunk of a man I found. You're not getting it here. Not tonight. But...he's AMAZING. That's all that matters. More on him later.
I totally just scored "coolest girlfriend" points for that one. I know he's reading.

And to my EX boyfriend(s) that are reading this. I caught you! Sorry you just found out on my blog. But you shouldn't be reading this anyway. Snoop. :)

THIS is why my blog should be private.

Goodnight.