So I guess I'm blogging about something that NONE of you guys can relate to anymore! Which makes it sorta fun! I don't know exactly where this post is going, but I just had some random thoughts on being single! I swear for so long I've had a boyfriend! Like 4 years to be exact! Yup that's me, One boyfriend to the next! I think this has been the longest streak I've had being single, 7 months and counting! Yes you can applaud please! It's actually been so fun!!! I enjoy "ME" time So much that I don't know if I will ever want to get married! Okay not really.... but I think I've realized how cool it is to REALLY get to know yourself, and how much these 7 months have been such a growing period in my life! I've obviously have had to make some new "single" friends, which I am so excited about! We have girls night every Thursday, and it's so nice to have just girls that you can sit and talk with about your latest date, hookup, breakup, etc! Yeah I know it sounds like high school! But I don't think that those sort of friendships should ever stop once your in a relationship or married right?? I think it's a saving grace to have good girlfriends around to keep you sane! But I also think this is something that a lot of people automatically cut out of their lives once they find themselves in a relationship! Yes....I too was guilty! Why is it that as soon as someone gets married, we automatically think they don't need friends or are cut of of the social scene? Or why after people get married do they ONLY hang out with couples and not have friends of their own? Oh and why is it that the guys will always still make time for their single and married guy friends once they are married, but the girls do not?? Maybe ALL of you married people can shed some light on this theory! Yes I'm rambling! HHhhmm.....I also think I might enjoy being single so much, that I have realized I've developed what I would like to call "Commitment Phobia" So yes once again I had been dating this guy on and off for about 6 months, and most people would think after 6 months he would probably be my "boyfriend" but no....not me! As soon as that conversation came around I ran!! As perfect as he was....Who does that? And of course he wouldn't want to stick around, cause really, how long can you "Just be dating"? Makes sense really! But what's wrong with me? It's not the fact that I wanted to date other guys, cause I really didn't care! Nor was it the fact that he just wasn't good enough....cause really he's a catch and I liked him a lot!! This just might be one of those things that you kick yourself in the shin for, after you realized what you just did!! I guess It was just the fact of saying "I have a boyfriend" that creeped me out! Why is this? Is this just a phase? HELP! What if I stay like this forever and keep turning down guy after guy as soon as it gets serious!? I might have to buy a bunch of cats, learn how to knit, and wear moomoos all day long! Nobody wants to be the cat lady!!! and nobody wants to date her either! Oh....and why am I the only single person? I like to say it's cause I'm smart...haha! But really? Why didn't I run to get hitched? And all my friends are married!! Not that I'm wishing I had, cause I love my life, but just a thought! Random post I know, but I just had some weird thoughts today!
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24 comments:
First of all, I am currently wearing a sea-foam green moomoo (We just got out of the pool, and I had to get outta that wet suit to put gabbers down)! Haha.
Secondly, I think it is super wise of you to not get married or into a serious relationship just because everyone else is doing it.
Look arond and see how many divorcees there are nowadays. I think especially after being with someone for 4 years, it is gonna take you a long time to figure out who you are now and who you want to become. You have grown a lot I'm sure. You realize at some point that "HE" is the one. I swear. I was dating like 3 or 4 freakin cute guys that "looked" perfect...Not so perfect as much as I tried to make myself think that.
YOu are doing yourself a HUGE favor by getting to know yourself first and setting a standard for what your wanting out of your life long/forever partner. FORever is a long time! What is the hurry.
Um, it's official! LONGEST comment ever...Sorry I'm so lame.
So very true Linds! I do have a correction though...i was not dating Jake for 4 years! Just had a boyfriend right before him. Besides the point...I agree with you entirely! FOREVER is well... FOREVER! Do people realize this? So how am I 23 which is pretty young? and I'm the ONLY single person? is this just a utah thing? I'm not putting anyone down that they got married young(or else I'd have the whole blog world after me!)Cause I know a lot of my friends are married and completely happy! You included! But just a strange thought that popped into me head is all! Thinkin out loud!
Yeah, it is so a UTAH thing. Mormon thing I think...NO sex? I think people are RUNNING to the temple jsut so they can actually be there without any accidents....I could be wrong.
You know, I only did it because I knew that it didn't get ANY better than my man. I didn't wanna let a great thing pass me by. I don't doubt that we could all be very happy with not just one man. But one man could make you much happier than another? I don't know, now I am not making any sense. I think you just know at some point. YOu can choose to still be free and wait for another great guy to come along...They'll keep coming around since you are a terrific catch. Ya get me?
Someone shoot me! What am I, DR. Phil(lis) Haha!
Dear Dr.Phillis! you made my belly jiggle! Ha! At least your being honest!! I dont think a lot of people admitt that SOME people run to the temple to get married just to hump! haha! Yes I do agree that there are many guys out there that could make you happy, and someone you could be happy with! but the trick is picking the right one! Your all so lucky your married and dont have to play the guessing game anymore!
I agree.
You're playing a little game of "guess who" With each new guy! FUN STUFF!
One last point. In mine and Shaun's case. We both still have our "MY" time. We love to be together but we still have our seperate friends too. We mostly hang out with married frinds together but we totally go do our own thing to remind ourselves that we are still individuals and we like to get out and laugh with someone else too.
Okay, I am putting my opinion and thoughts to rest on this one. Haha
Hope you don't mind if I interupt. I think the number one problem here is friends changing. I understand that..I am having trouble with the friend situation myself, being married. I kinda dropped the social scene when I started seriously dating Brad. Now I ask myself "why did you do it" I think the answer (for me at least) is that that life included dating! I was all about dating and talking about and hanging out with boys(it sounds boy crazy but all you girls know it is true)! So therefore that is why (I think) us married women don't hang out as much with women who are not. And then it is even harder to find girls whose husband can hang with your husband! ughh I hope you don't mind me ranting, but I have been thinking about the same thing in a different way, ironically! I wanna hang out! so call me 773-1563
Don't call her, she is the lamest!!! Haha. TOtally kidding! Can I come?
Yes Tasha I totally see what you mean! It's an entirely different mindset when your single as opposed to being in a relationship! It's just sad that I'm having to find "new" friends just cause mine are married!? Being married doesn't mean you can't do vegas shopping sprees, trips, dinners! It just means your not out lookin for guys!
Oh and yes I think we should all hangout! That would be fun! Seriously!
I feel like it's about time that your single for once. Isn't it fun?!? I remember being 23 and single and it was probably one of the best times ever! I'm not saying that being married isn't fun either cause it is it's just a different kinda fun. Have fun while you can you'll know when the "one" is right for you. You can't put a time line on life. It just happens. As for friends keep them around forever. I wish we had a cool married couple to hangout with that lived in SLC. Most of our friends are still single and yes they are well over 30 so you can feel good about that I guess. Your way too young to be worrying about getting married and finding the "one".
jojo.
OK, first off YES it is a UTAH thing, and second your whole idea will cahnge when you meet someone that knocks your socks off! You are not weired or different, from any other girl that is looking for what everyone else seems to have! You are so fun and loveable don't worry 'bout it!
Okay I must make a correction!! I am NOT worried about getting married! Very far from it! Just had a strange thought hit me as to why am I the ONLY one single? And why even if I had someone great standing right in front of me would i still not want to get married or have a boyfriend? I'm in absolutely NO rush...and THAT is the problem...well not a problem, but an abnormalcy here in utah is all! I feel normal, but I look around, and I seem to be the weirdo!? So no I'm not worried, just wondered why I'm the odd man out!?
Well I think Dr. Phillis pretty much covered it. You are right when you say a lot people ditch the social scene and their friends. I agree with Tasha that its different lifestyles. When I got married I felt like when I was with single girls I was totally out of place "trying" to act like I still knew what was going on with everyone else and talking about boys and break ups...I don't think it has to stop but I think it definitely slows down. I think their is definitely room for girls night out and long talks on the phone but as far as hanging out every weekend, for me it was a change of lifestyle. YOu are so hip and with it still...and am with linds, most the time you can find me walking around in my ,,,,well lets just say pj's, I go to bed by ten, I am up at six in the morning, and I usually end up with an assortment of colors on my shirt by the end of the day. Now those things compared to people who are still single don't really line up, but whose to say you need to go and find "new" friends. I think you can be friends forever no matter what your marital status. Great post and great insight, you nailed most of what you said.
DId I out comment linds yet??
Wow everyone has tons to say LOL. But Jo if you do decide to love someone Mike Tapia keeps bringing you up in our convo's Just so you know ;)
ok so I am with Camie, Dr. Phillis said it all. Well all I have to say is that I am up for a Vegas SHOPPING TRIP!!!! Anyone with me? Me and Lins were talking awhile back that maybe in August for our birthdays? jojo you crack me up. I love all of your blogs.
My problem is that I have very few single friends. I moved away from St. George when I got married and my husband and I have made lots of friends together (couples). I would love to go on any girls only trips or if any of you come up north I would love to hang out!
oh my gosh, how the heck is mike tapia...its been forever since I have seen him? Whats he up to kass?
Holy novel girl! ;) hahah. Ok - two things. The whole "me" time, I totally know what you mean. That's actually where I was at in my life when I met Garrett. But it is great. You have to find out who YOU are "alone" before you can really be like happy with someone. If you can be alone and be happy, then you will attract people to you. (Not that you already don't) You're amazing and you WILL find someone. Promise. I really like how Lindsey said don't do it cause everyone else is. DITTO! Second, though, married life is great! And you will find it ;) haha. There is nothing better then falling asleep next to your best friend everynight. But there is hope for you girlie. Who knows....the reunion is coming up.... ;)
Oh boy! I should have NEVER posted this! Everyone now thinks I'm desperate to get married!! That was NOT my point! The point was that I enjoy being single! And was just wondering why I'm the only single one out of everyone!? I must have worded something wrong?
jocey pooh! i think everyone is a little confused because of all the comments they read! i understood your point perfectly in your post! If anything we are the weirdos, if i go outside utah people look at me like who is this 12 year old girl with a baby and husband? well that happens to me here to but i really do look like a little girl. (lets just say i wish i had hips and a chest) obviously you aren't ready to get married and that is no big deal, no need to have a boyfriend or get marreied just cause everone else is. People who aren't "Mormon" don't get married till they are like 30. no pressure....just love it all! whatever.....did any of that make sense? Yeah, i didn't think so either......
Jo, no worries from me. YOu don't sound desperate, you just sound like you are loving being single. GO GIRLFRIEND!
Jocelyn I got married so I could bump it and if I lived in STG I would be your friend all the time. Nick and I love having time to ourselves because I don't like to watch basketball and he doesn't like to shop so we do these things alone. I don't have ANY friends in SLC so I can't give any input on the married friends deal. Anyway get married when you decide your sick of being single.
Am I not your friend Brianna? Real cool, anyway, Jocelyn I love you, don't rush into things, I know you are not, but you will know when it is right, there will be no question in your mind, and it will come when you are not looking for it. I think also we are the weird ones for getting married so soon. Rhett and I also like our seperate time, I love it, it is very healthy for a relationship. Come stay with me and we will play ok! I know you are not desperate to, you could have any man you want, that is not a problem!!!
Wow that last post must have really drained you huh! Let's see it's 14 days and counting Jocey.
NEW POST DANG IT!
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