Apple Bottom

Definition of an Apple Bottom According to Urban Dictionary:
An ass that has nice, round, plump cheeks. When apple bottom girls wear tight jeans, their butt cheeks bunch up in the bottom of their pants in a way that resembles the bottom of an apple. Used in a sentence: "She got dat apple bottom Yo!" or "Her apple bottom is like wo!"

Yup. It's official. I have an Apple Bottom AKA GHETTO BOOTY; ONION BOOTY; or my favorite BADUNKADUNK!

Some of you may think I'm bragging. I'M NOT!

My booty no longer fits into my "Fat" pants(you know you all have them) The ones you would put on only when your at your heaviest! Usually used AFTER Thanksgiving and Christmas and still they are pretty roomy??!! Yeah......THOSE pants I can't even squeeze over my ass!! I'm mystified!! I don't even know how this happened!! I'm seriously in turmoil about my current weight gain. I'm not quite sure what my plan of action is to tackle my problem, but I will tell you I REFUSE to buy new pants!! One because I can't afford them and Two because that would mean I'm okay with the situation at hand and I'm NOT OKAY!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm Fat. I would seriously just appreciate fitting into my jeans I wore just one month ago!! Yes. ONE month ago!!! WTF?? My thighs and butt have grown to such lengths that I'm down to wearing leggings any chance I get(not that I mind) but with winter around the corner I can't just wear leggings all the time! Or can I?? I guess i can shiver off the fat? Isn't that Lindsay Lohans weight Loss secret?

I suppose if all else fails I'll be the only Non African American woman sporting these:

From what I hear apple bottom jeans are GREAT for women who pack extra from behind!

Operation ASS-B-GONE is underway!!!

Alive

Yes It's true. I'm still here.
I am only blogging cause so many of you have demanded my presence back on the blog scene. Kidding. But i do warn you....This may be my most pointless post yet in my blogging career. Here goes...

Tuesday nights I strip. seriously. I take a class called "Xpertease" at Cindys husbands dance studio. So fun! :) I have now dubbed myself as the "Asian Sensation" No. There are no stilettos, pasties or actual shedding of clothing involved. Yet...But it's seriously a good time. If your in St.George come flip your hair and become a stripper superstar with me! Oh and I'm pretty sure if your pregnant it's still sexy....Think about it....

Work is slow. surprised? I mean right now I'm blogging at work. Can I say that? I'm already thinking about what the hell i'm gonna do as soon as I'm done with this post. Six more hours to go. If the economy keeps up the way it has been...well....I guess I can always become a stripper! Right? ;) Those are still in high demand aren't they???

Ethan. Is my new Nephew. SO CUTE! Especially if you like little monkeys! He's also pretty cool cause he writes his own blog. Check him out and see what he has to say. He writes daily.

Still have boyfriend. He is wonderful. We are in love.

The end.